Saturday

Fake friends

Haha yes, real friends vs. fake friends.
I must say, I now who who fits into each category.


Haha, so, I now know who the fake bitches are, and thank you. Thank you for awakening me from my dream and bringing my back to real life. Really.
Could you not just tell me to my face that you didn't wanna hang out anymore, did you really have to go make up excuses like 'Oh, I didn't know you werent invited' then go giggle behind my back to the rest of you guys, knowing full well what you did was no mistake.
Thanks for treating me like shit, and although I will never know what I did, maybe it's jealousy, maybe you just are a plain and simple bitch. I don't know. But I will never, ever waste my time with you again only to be treated like shit.
My last words for you; fuck you.

Monday

I do miss you

It's funny, how you can say 'I don't care' as much as you want, and you can fool everyone around you  but the one person you don't fool is yourself.
You know your secrets, you know exactly how you feel about something.
There are many things I wish for
I wish that I never said some things I did, I wish I never acted a certain way, and also I wish I never said that I didn't want that friendship, because that friendship is something I want more than anything.
Have you ever shared your whole self with someone, given EVERYTHING to them, and then end up where I am now.
I miss the friendship we had, no matter how much I say I dont care about it.
I've said my sorrys, and I guess that's all I can do, is know i've tried to do the right thing.
Oh well *smiles*

Saturday

My day

Today was the most eventful Saturday I've had in a while, I know right, how sad.
But Dad woke me and Tiffannie up at 6:30am, which totally sucked because it was so early, and so cold. But i dealt with it and got a shower blah blah. So, we drove all the way to Busselton for Maccas, had breakfast at Maccas, mmm pancakes, hashbrowns and bacon burger things, you know those breakfast muffins, yeah, them. Cameron wanted fanta for breakfast, whaaaat? No.


Anyway, so we had breakfast, I got to dads car and his car was so dirty so I wrote 'I'm a loser' on the back, cause i'm hell mature haha. We went for a drive around Nanup (i can't spell it, sorry) and all these other places that was just all bush. It was so relaxing, in a way. Because I havent been out like that in so long. Anyway, so I went into these op shops, and antique shops. And we saw bike riders that had fluffy ears attached to their helmets LOL. And, a sheep that was scratching itself against a tree, and the tree was bending hahaha. So yeah, we went around everywhere site seeing basically, it was good. And then we went to a vegetable shop, and some lady dropped all these lollies, and i helped her pick them up. So that was my good deed for the day :)
Then I came home, and had a huge sleep. The end.

Tuesday

Love

I do not, by any means, take credit for this. I found this somewhere, and I agreed with it so much.


Love is a funny thing. You expect it to be easy. You expect it to be a world of roses and laughs and perfect moments that you find only in movies. You expect her to always say the right thing, and always know exactly how you feel, or exactly how to react to it. You expect her to calm you down when you're yelling or to chase you when you run away. You expect so much that you feel entirely, and utterly defeated when something doesn't exactly match up with all your plans. But that's the thing. Love isn't a plan. It doesn't have a certain beginning and it certainly has no end or visible finish line to those deeply in it.


Love happens; it is so incredibly messy. People around you can't comprehend why you do the things you do, or why you fight so hard for something that seems to cause you so much pain, because simply, they can't see. They can't see the invisible ring of insanity that surrounds you when you're in love. It's inconvenient and painful and devastating at times, but we can't live without it. What you don't learn is how hard love is. How much work it takes. How much of ourselves we have to put into it. How it isn't worth it until we are complete and utter idiots about it.


Love isn't her calming you down when you yell. It's her yelling, just as loud, just as hard, right back at you, right in your face to wake you up and to keep you grounded. It isn't her/him bringing you roses everyday or cute things that make your relationship appear more presentable.


It's after a long fight, that drains the life and bones right out of you both, and yet her showing up at your door the next morning anyway. It's not her saying all the right things or knowing exactly how to handle you. So no, it's not her caressing your hair and telling you everything is going to be alright. It's her standing there, admitting she's just as scared as you are. You have to remember that with love, you're not the only one involved. You've unknowingly put your life, your heart into the palms of another persons hands and said, here. Do what you will. Mash it into mince meat. Or forget I ever handed it to you. As long as you have it.


It makes us crazy. It makes reality invisible and it erases all the lines that we shouldn't cross. Because love isn't about fencing ourselves in; feeling safe, feeling sure about the future. It's about scaring the shit out of every nerve in our body, but pushing forward anyway. Because all the fighting and all the tears and all the uncertainty is worth it. And it's a hell of a lot better, than being 100% happy without someone to show us that there is a world of a difference between feeling 'happy' and feeling whole

Monday

Virginity

Yes, I'm talking about losing your virginity, and to who.
I know many people who are not virgins, who have given their virginity away at the age of fourteen-fifteen, but the worst part is, they barely know the person they are doing it with, and that hurts me.


Virginity is meant to be something special, you're meant to lose it to someone you love, and trust and know very well. I think girls these days forget the importance of it, and throw it away like it means nothing.
But then, then there are the girls who get pressured into it by their friends or the 'leader' of the pact they are following. They do not want to have sex with the person they don't know, but know they have to if they want to be part of the group still. Personally, I don't agree with this, if they are your true friends, they will respect you're not ready. But also, the girl that's being pressured has to know where to draw the line, and stand up for herself, and back out when she knows it's not right, and knows she is not ready.


I think it's trashy to see someone brag about having sex with a random at a party at such a young age, and drop down to their knees whenever a guy talks to them. I think girls are losing their self respect, and they need to get it back, because who knows what kind of person you'll be meeting next a party, who knows the dangers he may bring upon you.