Life I guess.

I've made many mistakes, but i've learnt from every single one. It's made me grow in so many ways.
I feel I am alot more mature than I was a year ago, I can hold an intelligent conversation, I can make strong decisions on my own and I don't need to hold someones hand to get where I want.
I realised true friends don't stab you in the back, they don't tell you bullshit. I realised life isn't always fair, and although you may get angry, and want to kill everything in your path, it's nobodys fault, sometimes it's not even your own fault. It's just the way things happen, that's life. Life isnt fair, or easy or anything that we want and expect it to be. I've learnt to be more open minded, and step outside the square and take in the whole picture. Be more understanding, accepting. I've learnt how to love, and be loved in return. I've learnt to love myself no matter how bad my hair is that day. I now know it's not horrible to be seen without my makeup, and that people look absolutely beautiful when they first wake up in the morning.
I believe everything happens for a reason, and although you may not find that reason straight away, you will. It could take weeks, or years. but one day you will look back and say 'Wow, if I never did that, this would not be happening today'

This blog is jumping everywhere, but I need to get everything off of my chest.


Kind letters

I was reading this blog of letters, and this is one that really made me smile. Comparing emotions to weather, different but very well done :)

April 10, 2006
Dear Crystal,
I'm so sorry to hear that life is getting you down at the moment. Goodness knows, it can be so tough when nothing seems to fit and little seems to be fulfilling. I'm not sure there's any specific advice I can give that will help bring life back its savour. Although they mean well, it's sometimes quite galling to be reminded how much people love you when you don't love yourself that much.
I've found that it's of some help to think of one's moods and feelings about the world as being similar to weather:
Here are some obvious things about the weather:
It's real.
You can't change it by wishing it away.
If it's dark and rainy it really is dark and rainy and you can't alter it.
It might be dark and rainy for two weeks in a row.
It will be sunny one day.
It isn't under one's control as to when the sun comes out, but come out it will.
One day.
It really is the same with one's moods, I think. The wrong approach is to believe that they are illusions. They are real. Depression, anxiety, listlessness - these are as real as the weather - AND EQUALLY NOT UNDER ONE'S CONTROL. Not one's fault.
They will pass: they really will.
In the same way that one has to accept the weather, so one has to accept how one feels about life sometimes. "Today's a crap day," is a perfectly realistic approach. It's all about finding a kind of mental umbrella. "Hey-ho, it's raining inside: it isn't my fault and there's nothing I can do about it, but sit it out. But the sun may well come out tomorrow and when it does, I shall take full advantage."
I don't know if any of that is of any use: it may not seem it, and if so, I'm sorry. I just thought I'd drop you a line to wish you well in your search to find a little more pleasure and purpose in life.

Very best wishes
Stephen Fry


The truth

So, I was up last night at about 3am, I couldnt sleep and I decided to write something, and this is what I wrote:
Do we want to hear the whole truth about ourselves? Is honesty always the best policy?
My answer to those questions is no.
I once got told that the truth about the truth is it hurts, so we lie.
I believe that nobody wants to hear the blunt, painful truth about themselves. We build up a fantasy of what we want to believe how people think about us, and the truth brings us back to reality.
Maybe that's why we lie, not to save ourselves from pain, but to save ourselves from the reality of life.


Why girls are better than guys

So, I was sitting on my bed one day, absolutely bored, letting my mind wander and I was thinking of many reasons why girls are better than guys :D
Here is the list i came up with

#1. We can hide it if we're turned on
#2. When we sit on the toilet, nobody will know if we're shitting, or pissing
#3. We have more choice in fashion
#4. We can complain about random shit for no reason
#5. We can wear makeup without getting weird looks
#6. We live longer
#7. We are more caring and compasionate
#8. Generally, we smell better
#9. We can have children
#10. We know how to use sex to get what we want ;)
#11. We have more class then men
#12. We are more 'in touch' with our emotions
#13. We can kiss a member of the same sex and people think it's hot
#14. We have an excuse to go crazy once a month
#15. We can cry whenever we want without it being gay

That's all i came up with, i'll add more later