Feb 23rd.

So, Soundwave is in six days. I'm not that excited for some reason, but I'm never excited about anything until the night before. I'm still pretty pissed off with people abusing me for what I do with my life etc. Especially that person calling me stupid, and now that I know who it was, makes me even more angry. Also, i've been so sad/angry for the past few days haha due to the new diet i'm on. But I should be back to normal in a few days once my body gets used to it. I just feel so disconnected from everyone, except from the lovely people i've been emailing. And then, I think it's a prank or scam but I got this email from 'Monica Byrne' saying shit about how she was my Mum and asking about some bloody person I'm like LOL WHAT. Delete. I don't really have much to say this time.
Just that, if you wanna give advice/opinion on anything I do, I respect your opinion, and what you think and i'll be more than happy to talk to you about it, but if you do it in a dog way, like abusing me, calling me shit, basically just being an asshole like that person on Formspring, I will get pissed off.



You are the only thing I hate, but at the same time, I need you to live. I can't seem to stay away, always telling myself 'No' but find myself giving into your sweet-ness. I want you to leave me alone, you make me ugly, inside and out. You make me sad, angry, ashamed. I know it would be selfish of me if I asked you to disappear forever, but it would be nice if you did. I'm sorry. I can't get you off of my mind though, which is killing me, I want you off of my mind forever. If i didnt think about you so much, maybe I wouldnt be so insane. Yeah, you make me crazy, bad crazy. A part of me likes you, only a tiny part, so don't feel too special. It's not even an important part of me, I don't need it. In fact, I would be better off without it. I know you're not too fond of me either, which is okay. I don't want you liking me, it would make hating you even harder than it already is. I don't know why I can't say no to you, it's a simple word. Yet so hard to say. You are so sweet. But, many other people hate you for being so sweet, they don't like you at all. You make them ugly too. Most nights you make them cry, which isnt very nice. Maybe if you werent so sweet it would be okay, I think. No, it wouldnt be okay because there is something else about you aswel, you're evil, that's it. Pure evil, like the devil. You're sweet and evil. Don't get me wrong, there are people out there who LOVE you, who think you being sweet is the best thing in the entire world. I depise them, they want you all to themselves. I keep telling them that one day they will see you for what you really are.
They will, but by the time they do, it will be too late.
Goodbye, evil monster.



Hehe, got my hair cut today, it's short, layered, messy with a messy side fringe, i actually like it ahah. I might go back to a bob when this grows out. I'm over growing my hair long, i love it short haha.
Then tonight I get to hang out with my best friend in the entire world!
And Mum went to the doctors and oh my god the doctor was so funny, i cried from laughing so hard.
Doctor: 'Wow, you have put on weight' to Mum and im like OMG! Then laughed so hard hahaah and then like five minutes later he was like about my nanna 'Your mum reminds me of hitler *does weird face*'
HAHA LIKE SERIOUSLY, want to dig the hole any deeper?
And then, Mum and me were driving along and Mum was like
OMG SIMONE, that's amber behind us so I look, and I'm like hehe let's do something. So we were like slowing down and being total idiots and then the car drives past us and like gives us a dirty look, it wasnt even amber -_- HAHA, we almost died from laughter. Poor girl! Then waiting in the waiting room at the doctors we could not stop laughing, we laughed at anything, and people were looking, but we seriously could not stop laughing. We're retards sometimes!
Oh, I tried a cute dress on today, a size 6. Totally expecting it to be way too small but it fitted, im like are you serious hahahah. Just cleaned up, going to have a shower soon when Tiff gets etc to go out tonight. I don't wanna change my hair haha the hairdressers got it so nice.


Tallara + Me

I'm so slow sometimes.
tbr, says:
do you remember the time i said i wanted a relationship so badly and you told me they were great but still super hard?
and i wa slike whatevssss,
was like*
i decided you were actually extremely right
simone says:
haha i dont remember that my memory is horrible

tbr, says:
haha well you were right

simone says:
haha oh okay, i agree -_-
thats why i love being single
obviously i agree since i said it hahahah

Seriously, hahaha.


Sharing a little too much, Simone?

Is it a bad thing that I'm opening up to people more?
I think it is, I like to stay quiet and not share many things about myself, but no. Lately I just spill my guts whenever I start talking to people after a while. Then I look like a douche, and then I completely shut off, because I flip out that they know so much about me and I know so little about them. I've done it so many times. Zipping my mouth from now on.

Random blogging.

I just finished planning everything I need to get done haha. Dinner tomorrow night with Matt and Amber. Hairdressers on Thursday, then Thursday night going shopping with Tiff and Amber haha I just need a simple, cute black jacket. Then Friday is nothing. Saturday I'm working, then straight after work, going home to grab my stuff, heading up to Perth with Matt and Amber and staying at Richelles. Saturday and Sunday Amber and me are going shopping in Perth haha. Pretty excited about going to Perth and what not, although I'll be sleeping on the floor. HAHA, seriously. But it's okay. Been emailing some really great people from tumblr, they are so lovely. Well, i've lost almost 2kg, which is fucking amazing! Haha. Soup, soup and more soup, and work, and alot of water. Can't wait to see Tiff again, even though I saw her the other afternoon. The shit we get up to sometimes -__- and with Amber too! Should be a great night.
I remember playing Lady Gaga super loud at like 3am and then drawing all over the road with chalk at like 4am hahaha. I've never seen a more retarded love-heart in my life haha! Soo, tomorrow I'm cooking dinner and dessert. Although I won't eat it haha. But no, I'm like slowly getting better at cooking, probably cause I cook about 3 times a day hahah. Cooking somehow makes me feel so much better, like you know how people eat to feel better, or dance to feel better. I cook. I'm so weird!
I'm still deciding on what colour I want to dye my hair. Each post takes me like hours to write because I write something, leave it, then when I think of something else to add I come back hahah.
Tonight I'm going to clean up, whilst everyone is sleeping.
Anyway, I saw someone the other day, and honestly, it was like love at first sight.
Ohk, not really. But super, super super super cute and nice!
FML, I always crush on boys I can't have. Always.

Night time

Bad night turned out okay.
Took matts good headphones, turned up Lady Gaga really loud, put on school of rock and after a few hours I'm okay, I think hah. I think night time is also more peaceful, and everyone has gone to bed so I have time to myself etc. Planning on sleeping all day tomorrow, should be good, havent done it in so long.
I've found a lovely book that I'm starting to read, since I'm home alone all this week, I need something to keep me busy :)
If you know of any good books please let me know! haha.
Going to the book store later this week when my pay goes in, it's so relaxing in there and the books are so amazing ^_^
Other than that, nothing really new is going on, Soundwave is just around the corner, gotta get my hair fixed up and buy some new stuff for that. Then buy some sweet heels for Lady Gaga and by then my makeup pallette should of arrived so I can do a nice eyeshadow for that, and just put together and outfit or something. I need to start using my notepad for a list of things I need to do, might do that now haha write down everything I need to do/buy and start planning. I always leave everything until the last minute but i'm not going to this time haha, I need to be more organised. So yeah, gotta ring up and get my hair done, check with Tallara about a few things, go into the city and get some clothes and shoes.
OH YES, I just decided I'm dying my hair a dark, dark brown before Soundwave. I might go red again, maybe! Not sure, ahh, i'll get tiffs opinion, although I have a feeling she will say GO RED! haha. I'll get my hair thinned and fringe cut and everything then dye my hair. I'm rambling haha, cya.


White houses

You have no idea how much this song means to me. I cry almost everytime I listen to it.
White houses;
 Crashed on the floor when I moved in
This little bungalow with some strange new friends
Stay up too late, and I'm too thin
We promise each other it's 'til the end
Now we're spinning empty bottles
It's the five of us
With pretty eyed boys girls die to trust
I can't resist the day
No, I can't resist the day
Jenny screams out and it's no pose
'Cause when she dances she goes and goes
Beer through the nose on an inside joke
And I'm so excited, I haven't spoken
And she's so pretty, and she's so sure
Maybe I'm more clever than a girl like her
Summer's all in bloom
Summer is ending soon
It's alright and it's nice not to be so alone
But I hold on to your secrets in white houses
Maybe I'm a little bit over my head
I come undone at the things he said
And he's so funny in his bright red shirt
We were all in love and we all got hurt
I sneak into his car's cracked leather seat
The smell of gasoline in the summer heat
Boy, we're going way too fast
It's all too sweet to last
It's alright

And I put myself in his hands
But I hold on to your secrets in white houses
Love, or something ignites in my veins
And I pray it never fades in white houses
My first time, hard to explain
Rush of blood, oh, and a little bit of pain
On a cloudy day, it's more common than you think
He's my first mistake
Maybe you were all faster than me
We gave each other up so easily
These silly little wounds will never mend

I feel so far from where I've been
So I go, and I will not be back here again
I'm gone as the day is fading on white houses
I lied, wrote my injuries all in the dust
In my heart is the five of us
In white houses
And you, maybe you'll remember me
What I gave is yours to keep
In white houses


It's so funny how I can just take the crap out of Dad as much as I want and he actually understands that i'm only joking around with him, can't do that with many people these days hahaha.
Soo funny, we'll tell each other to shut up, or just take the piss out of each other for the smallest things and just laugh about it, I love it.
Like, I was walking into the bathroom and Dad was like 'Hey Simone!' and I'm like 'What do you want now?' And he was like *fulls the finger* 'That's about all hey'
HAHA he is SO lame it makes it even more funny :p

And the amount of people that come into work and can't read the signs, then blame me for putting in the wrong order when they just simply can not read hahah.
Tonight I'm going to watch Lion King one and Two, and Finding Nemo.
I havent seen Lion king and sherren freaked out and gave me the DVDs and told me to watch them hahaha, I love her!
Amber is having a baby, and on my lunch break I was looking at baby clothes and omg, they are super adorable, and the little socks/slipped/shoes ^_^
I'm going home now, to camp out in my room with the laptop and movies and my fat-free hot chocolate, if only I had marshmellows and someone to share my time with haha :'(
My makeup should be here later this weeeek, oh my god :D
I was hanging out with Sherrens baby boy today, he is about a bit older than 2 months, and he is super adorable. And played Simon Says in the pool with Chels haha, she is seven and so funny



I don't understand why I feel this way.
My mind is all over the place. I can't sleep. I just want a hug, and a long talk about everything.
Someone who will understand, and just be there to listen, who wont judge me, or yell at me for the things I do/did. But it's okay.. I guess i'll be fine on my own. I'll have to be.
I'm going to try and sleep again, I can feel myself about to cry, I havent cried in so long.
This house is slowly tearing me apart.

Haha, everything and everyone.

I always start reading magazines from back to front. Then I start reading a story and I'm like umm this doesnt make sense hahaha.
I'm working again tomorrow, so excited! It's so fun. But I probably won't be on counter, damn it.
I wanna go for a walk, right now. With someone, anyone. And I wanna go to the playground with a spinny thing and laugh until my sides hurt. And then share deep secrets under the stars. That'd be nice.
I wanna have a sleep over with Tiff, she makes me laugh so much I almost cry hahaha. Like the time we slept on the floor for two nights because we couldnt be bothered moving to the couch. Or our stupid immature jokes we make, ahh, how she totally took over my bed and I slept on the floor :p Adding randoms on msn, going on webcam but instead of us we show two teddy bears just sitting there and we've wetting ourselves laughing. When I ran all the way to her house crying cause me and mum just had a massive fight haha. Singing peice of me on the school bus HAHA, Japanese lessons, and how we ran into the bushes when we were meant to be in Japanese and we totally were shitting ourselves the whole time. Being there for each other when everyone else wasnt. Just school bus rides home in general, and tiff would get off at my stop and walk to her house somedays, and other times i'd get off at her stop and walk to mine. Drawing allll over the road with chalk and then blaming it on the neighbours hahaha. The two second fight we had under the tree then the same afternoon we were best friends again hahah. The time we were scared of the shovel in her old house and wouldnt even walk past it. Last days of school at the foreshore.
AH SO MANY MORE MEMORIES, but they will only be funny to Tiff and me haha.

And I love Jersey, my Dads dog. She always gives me cuddles and hugs when i'm sad, and one night I was feeling sick and she slept next to me the whole night, and I woke up in the morning and she was still there. Whenever she gets in trouble for doing something wrong she runs up to me, jumps on my lap and just lays there being a sook hahaha. How she plays soccer with me, and really gets into it. The time we went for this huge walk and at the end I sat on the couch and she put her head on my lap and went to sleep. She is honestly the best dog in the whole world, I love her so much ^_^ Even when everyone called her ugly when she was a puppy, I thought she was adorable hehe.
THEN THERE WAS STORM, he was cute at a young age, and we would hide in my room together and he would sleep on my lap whilst I read a book. And he used my pencil case as a pillow. Then he grew up, haha.

I remember living in Perth when I was like 3 or something, and I couldnt pronounce elephant. And then we moved to Bunbury, and I remember coral street, and Richelle riding through the sand on a motorbike and stacking it! Totally got it on tape and even to this day I laugh so hard at it. And christmas in 1994. Being OBSESSED with Jesse McCartney or whatever his name is hahaha! And me, richelle and another person making a 'fashion tv show' 'cause we were so bored haha, I wish I knew where that video is :( I watched it a few years ago, lost it now.

Living at sharrens for 3 weeks. Cam, mum and me sharing a double bed for the whole 3 weeks, but it was the most interesting three weeks I'd ever had. Getting my neighbour to take me to school every morning because I couldnt be bothered walking to the bus stop! HAHA, she was a lovely lady, honestly, we had the best morning chats. Having an old lady living across the road, and every afternoon I would go see her, and spend hours chatting about everything, help her with things around the house, I miss that. When I was little, getting on the end of someones trolley and yelling 'GO GO GO GO' hahaha. Taking a ballet book out of the public library and spending weeks trying to learn haha. Matts very first shave HAHA! I still have the photos.

I bed nobody read to the end. Haha, I'm so bored, so I felt like doing this.
I have so many more random things, but I decided to better stop.

Nothing interesting

Just chillin' in my bras and undies at 1am hahah. I need to charge batteries for my camera! Haha sick of webcam, but I got this today. The photo makes it look like shit, but it's pink, and really sparkly with some glitter and a matching pen. And it's just got blank paper on the inside, super cute I thought! And i needed a notepad anyway. Yes! I'm actually sleeping in my own bed tonight haha, crazy. And my pillow doesnt have a pillow slip cause mine are on the spare bed where I have been sleeping haha. I want these: http://www.diva.net.au/#/product/816 They are simple and adorable I think, when I get paid I might go buy them. I also got a necklace, but I cant be bothered taking a photo of it, you'll probably see me wearing it in photos anyway, but yeah, it's so pretty!



I am happy with the playlist I have on Itunes at the moment, perfect music for this time of night.
Some of my favourite songs right now:

First Aid Kit - I met up with the king
Seabear - I sing, I swim
Yeah yeah yeahs - Zero
Yeah yeah yeahs - Gold Lion
Florence and the Machine - Rabbit heart
Forence and the Machine - Dog days are over
Nada Surf - See these bones
Anything by Maria Mena
Yeah yeah yeahs - Maps

That's all I can really think of at the moment, i've been listening to them constantly. Amazing.
I found some really lovely sites, i'm addicted to them. And I get to sleep in tomorrow. I got up at 5:30 and didnt get home until about 10ish or something, so good to be in bed relaxing hehe.
I'm lonely this Valentines Day. Ah well, shit happens haha.


This is random! Haha

Ugh, I was just on the phone to someone and totally said something that I didnt mean to say haha.
Now I want to turn back the time and have the conversation again, but do it differently. And I could always ring them up again, and tell them the real story, but then I will have no chance in hell. UGH. It's okay, i'll work something out. So, I have two jobs now? Unless I purposely do shitty at the trial on Monday. I'll figure something out, I guess. Maybe, you know, I could just wait until the times that I have to work clash, and then quit a job. Or I could just say no to one of them now, and say i've found another job. Ugh, I wish I never even had that phone call. Haha, I think i'll just say no to one of them, that's probably easier then getting myself into something I most likely wont be able to get out of, and getting fired from both jobs, and end up back at the start. Sigh, I'm crawling back into bed now, even though I probably shouldnt, because it's almost lunch time on a Saturday. But i really don't feel like doing anything at all. Just one of those days, you know. I ran out of ice cubes, so I put a glass of water in the fridge whilst I drink this glass hahah, I hate normal temp. water, it has to be realllly cold! Hehe. I'm glad i'm feeling a bit better this morning, but I want to work out, but Mums watching TV. I love Yoga, it's so amazing. I've only started doing it, but it's lovely and I feel so great after doing it.

My favourite song

i met up with the king
he confessed his body was burning
i met up with the king
his body had begun to rot and he said
don't think less of me i'm still the same man i used to be
but no one believed him, no one believed him
i once knew a pretty girl
and she was in love with the world
and she loved a young man
who loved her body but never saw her mind
he took everything she had kept and then took everything else that was left
but no one believed her, no one believed her

i feel just like the king
as i fall on the muddy ground
i feel just like you girl
there's people thinking they know something now.
well i don't know anything at all and we mean nothing, history, well thank god
so tell me, do you believe me? do you believe me?
i bet you don't, i bet you won't



I'm sorry that what i gave you wasnt enough.
My thoughts
My dreams
My mind
My heart
My friendship
I'm sorry that it just.. wasn't enough for you.